You remember how you used to share your fears, anxieties and hopes with her, and how she used to also feel the same way about many things in life. There were moments when she would pound her fist on the table just because your joke was so funny laughing wasn't enough. Moments when she would grab your arm while walking because she's too tired to support herself. Days when she called you her best friend, and showered you with many gifts and texts because you were at the top of her mind.
But you also come to understand they were short-lived. Few months of transition into the next phase of life, and you realize you no longer see her the way you used to. You thought for many years that she's a friend to keep, but it seems as if all the closeness between you two has turned into a void.
In those memories, you could understand everything she was thinking even before she spoke her thoughts. Yet in those memories, the friend you met has made her leave. You struggle to accept that the friendship lives only in you and what you wrote. Even if you try to make amends, she would only draw a blank. Or maybe tell you she does miss you but nothing changes.
She is now a stranger, whose thoughts need a lot more work to comprehend. You realize that you see in her something you never expected, something so prevalent in everyone else you thought she used to never associate herself with. You come to see her in a new light, and your heart feels not a tinge of pain, but an incomprehensible weight that zaps you of so much energy. Two different identities, one you used to know so clearly, and the other you're crippled trying to understand.
They say maybe people don't change, they just become more of who they are. I've let enough energy and emotions drain me trying to grapple with this change. I accept that there are friendships like this, some real ones that last for only certain points of time in life.
I really needed this closure. Goodbye, stranger.
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